CANAAN 9

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Summary:

After picking up Yunyun, the group comes under attack by another man with terrible taste in headgear. Canaan is unable to headshot him straightaway as she’s, more or less, fighting blind. Hakkoo power word stuns everyone to try ad save their assailant but ends up indirectly killing him when he removes his headgear. Yunyun identifies the now deceased man as the former carpenter and Santana calls him an Unbloom, a name which makes a lot more sense but much less puntastic than Borner.

Santana flashback about the experiment on the villagers links his former employer, the CIA, with the Snakes. Just as the emo starts to overflow, the Queen of Psycho Yuri Love descends from the skies with her Love Shock rockets. But Alphard-oneesama turns up to save the day, even magnanimously letting Liang Qi and Cummings go despite their naughtiness. She then does a Fate/Stay Night scene re-enactment in order to flirt more with Canaan but is disappointed when Canaan says she is the same muddy brown colour as Siam. She then invites everyone to her Factory Destruction tea party.

Reaction:

Now I’ve seen it all – a helicopter dogfight! That was so ridiculous but yet so entertaining at the same time. I was also laughing at the names that Liang Qi gave to her attacks as well as her reaction when she realized that her beloved Oneesama is trying to kill her. But that was, in turn, topped by Cummings’ trying to go postal on his employer, only to be foiled in such a marvelous way, to declare his final word as LOVE and then for Alphard-oneesama’s counter-blow to be delivered with such mischief.

Now we know that, besides the Veep, the CIA is also up to no good and probably without the knowledge of the rest of US.gov – so what else is new in fiction? What’s a little harder to swallow is how, on the one hand, we have the CIA conducting ruthless, carefully planned experiments in cahoots with terrorists as part of a grand conspiracy and yet be so careless as to have former operatives, leftover equipment and experimental subjects laying about or even running all over the countryside even though the List has been out for ages.

11 thoughts on “CANAAN 9

  1. What’s a little harder to swallow is how, on the one hand, we have the CIA conducting ruthless, carefully planned experiments in cahoots with terrorists as part of a grand conspiracy and yet be so careless as to have former operatives, leftover equipment and experimental subjects laying about or even running all over the countryside even though the List has been out for ages.

    so i herd u liek mujahideen and stinger missiles? :/
    Given the IRL track record of those outfits, that’s actually the more credible part of the lolplots; what I find a little more difficult to digest is that all this crap was and is (unless I *seriously* missed something) being done in the damn China apparently without the local Man noticing…
    Not that I had any excess respect for the liver-spotted thugs in Beijing, but it *is* a police state and a somewhat paranoid one at that.

    That aside, Alphard’s troll power must now have gone over NINE THOUSAND. This series could get pretty far on sheer supervillain scenery chewing and snarking.

  2. If you want over blown plots and international conspiracies look to the CIA, if you want competence look at the Mossad and NSA…

    In any event things must be bad in China if they have started out sourcing everything. The hired Alphard to protect them from Alphard and now it seems they hired Alphard and the CIA to provide health care after the collapse of the Iron Rice Bowl, to get rich is glorious indeed…

    If only Alphard onee-sama was handing out invitations with razor sharp edges that she used to unbutton her haremettes…though dropping it off would have been problematic with Canaan, Maria, and Yun Yun.

    1. …if you want competence look at the Mossad and NSA…

      Note that Mossad’s brilliant track record AFAIK includes having helped Hamas get started back in the day, so as to undermine the PLO…
      So yeah.

    2. I like to think that official cockups in China can be 99% explained by corruption. ;)

      [Add: i.e. the really obvious money-in-brown-envelopes type]

  3. @Watchman
    The PLO now Fatah has been undermined…a two state solution seems to be farther out these days than ever. Despite the death and destruction Israel seems to hold most of the cards still and the status quo is much better on their end. Moreover Hamas and Fatah just can’t seem to get along, and no one likes dealing with Hamas so Gaza is screwed. If the Mossad only wanted to hold on to most of the gains of the Six Day War they have succeeded. As bad as Hamas is since they are so disgusting no one is going to dig them out of Gaza and considering how they are in Detente with the Zionist entity it’s not as if Hamas is on the verge of taking Israel down.

    All Hamas can do is fire off rockets that invite a great IDF raid that results in lots of dead, lots of destruction, and impotent outcry. The IDF has Hamas largely contained, the blockade has choked off pretty much everything and reduced the Palestinians to gouging each other. The end result is still pretty much that Israel has given up little and a return to the pre-1967 borders remains a pipe dream. Even if the West Bank was consolidated that does little for Gaza so long as Hamas is calling all the shots there. Let’s not forget the last big thing Hamas did was crush a competing terror group, suffice to say I bet Israel benefited from that as well…

    It all depends on how you would define a success, occupation isn’t in the cards and so long as Hamas and Fatah are deadlocked there is little they can do to mitigate the Israeli gains of the Six Day War, which IIRC was possible in part due to the Mossad. Every agency has it’s darkest days but even with the Hamas problem the Mossad seems to have a better handle on them than the CIA had on it’s own sponsored group turned mortal enemy. At the moment Hamas seems to be more concerned about rival groups than ending the blockade.

    1. I lowered my expectations drastically a few episodes ago wrt to everything e.g. animation quality, plot (what plot?) etc. Goofy yuri subtext banzai for great enjoyment!! Join me (banzai! banzai! banzai!) and leave sadness behind!

  4. The yuri undercurrent was very strong in this episode. I thought it was pretty entertaining, and even informative for once. It just goes to show how much of a drag Maria is!

    1. Is it safe to say that you dislike Maria despite the fact she has a really awesome ahoge?

      1. Yes, as awesome as the ahoge boner is, Maria is pretty annoying. I feel like the ahoge has a mind of its own, so I consider them two distinct entities.

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