hontou ni sou omou?

Hi, I’m Sonozaki Onion. No, not the root vegetable that makes you cry. It’s “oh-nee-yon” (鬼音). I’m the secret hidden and true heir of the Sonozaki clan. That’s right, we’re triplets! Is that the hawtness or is that hawtness? I like to impersonate my younger sisters especially Mion who thinks that she’s the true heir.

Apparently my two younger sisters have taken a fancy to delicious young Keiichi and Mion even impersonate baby sis Shion to flirt with him. But then they did something really bad and I am angry.

They’ve actually dared to enter the sacred storehouse of Oyashiro-sama! That is forbidden as it hides the secret of Hinamizawa that I am duty-bound to protect. What made me even angrier was Miki Itou voicing Takano like Ogasawara Sachiko on the verge of insanity. And that Taiga-nee hasn’t had any screen time in FS/N for the past two episodes. T_T

He has seen how we make our special soy sauce and that human intestines are what give Onigafuchi Hinamizawa brand soy sauce its unique and unrivalled flavour! Secret herbs, fermentation techniques and longer maturation times is just marketing talk. :3 I have no idea why everyone just believes us and the other food corporations when we tell your poor consumers BS like “less fat” = a few milligrams less but still a whopping 5,000% of RDA - heartburn, dearie? ;) Or 100% beef = 100% cow ears, hooves, testicles, skin, cartiledge with 2% actual flesh-meat recovered off the bone with high pressure hoses - your burger patty a bit chewy today? ^_-

If knowledge about the secret recipe and technique gets out, it will be the end of the all-powerful Sonozaki clan! People are being spirited away! We have nowhere to run, nowhere to hide!

Rika-chan was “disappeared” because she attempted to collect a sample for independent analysis and expose the Sonozaki recipe!

Damn, that’s a lot of security for a soy sauce factory… Especially when we have now obtained the only copy of the recipe ever to be written down.

Keiichi will now live on forever - in bottles of our yummy trademarked soy sauce!

There was also some soy sauce in that bento I made you back in ep 5. I need to get it baaaaack!!

All this “demon” stuff is a by-product of the grisly rituals and the noxious fumes from the soy sauce manufacturing process. Hush little Keiichi, don’t say a word / And never mind that noise you heard / It’s just the Onion under your bed / In your soy sauce, in your head! / Exit light! Enter night! / Take my hand! We’re off to Murderous Loliland!

And buy our soy sauce. Just don’t ask what’s in it. :)