Daily Archive for May 7th, 2005

GAINAX Has Two Cows

Asuka n Rei in plugsuit streetwearWith the first cow, it sets off the Third Impact as the culmination of the Bovine Instrumentality Project. The milk produced cause the drinkers to have strange hallucinations and spout pseudo-Christian ramblings and bastardised Jungian pop psychology. Eventually drinkers see cows surrounding them, clapping their hooves and saying “Congratulations! Congratulations!”

After a tonne of complaints, it uses the second cow to do the same thing. Every cow in the world turns into milk when touched by a ghostly blue-furred, red-eyed cow. Except at the final stage, the cow rejects Instrumentality and the giant blue-furred, red-eyed cow breaks apart, spilling milk all over the devastated fields. The cow wakes up later, finds the red-furred cow is its only other companion, tries to strangle her before breaking down. The red-furred cow says, “I feel sick.” GAINAX continues to milk them.

And so, after a good 10 years from its release, Neon Genesis Evangelion (website, website) continues to yield plenty of milk revenue and profits for its creators. I gather that the latest DVD re-release called The Renewal of Evangelion contains nothing really new so at least the title is accurate but doubtless, many otaku will lap it all up. While it is nice to see the series that really sucked me into anime fandom still having such great appeal, all this smacks of exploitation of the original work and of suckers consumers.

Speaking of which, I actually bought this cute set of figurines of Asuka and Rei in streetwear versions of their plugsuits. Complete with accessories! It was second-hand and much cheaper at JPY 2,600 (SGD 40) compared to the usual price of JPY 4,280 (SGD 66). And I’m actually rather disturbed that I still can’t bring myself to take them out of the packaging. (-_-;) Zyl

You Have Two Cows (Corporate Edition)

Supporting material for the next post about GAINAX and its continued milking of Evangelion. Got this from an email circulated around a few years ago which, of course, I got it from my dad a few weeks ago. It’s amazing how old jokes get resurrected when our parents actually start to enjoy using email. Anyhowz the geneology of cow jokes is discussed in Wikipedia as well as a collection of jokes .

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called “Cowkimon” and market them world-wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You worship them.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu.